What is going on?

Stateside

Being back in America almost doesn't seem real. I'll have to write about my trip from Amsterdam to Cincinnati later on in the week when I'm finished running around town making the first round of visits to my friends.

It's so strange to be back.

Everything here in America is so big.
And there's so much space.

Clearly my time in Amsterdam has affected me more than I thought.

Staring out my Grandma's living room window, to the Cincinnati skyline below, quite literally mesmerizes me. Just because there is a skyline.

PEople just keep talking to me randomly: at stores, restaurants.
Yesterday someone even passed me in the park and said hello.

Odd.

I'm just so used to being left in my own little world over in Amsterdam.
Dutch people just let you do your own thing. That's their society I imagine.

But it's so un-American.

It is – however – so nice to be back among my family. I've been crashing at my Grandma's.

I can't wait to go back out to my parents' house. Where they live, there's just space forever. And topography, too.

I might go to Knoxville, Tennessee for New Years Eve, but we'll see.
So many options...

But let me tell you, American food is so bad. I've changed my diet drastically in Amsterdam.

I went to the grocery store the other day, walked in, and said to myself – where's the food?
Everything is in boxes?!

I just don't eat processed foods. All natural. Fruits and veggies for me, please.

I've looked at the ingredients on most of the 'food' at a few stores, and almost always the first ingredient is high fructose corn syrup? Why is this necessary to add to food!? Who needs that much sugar in their diet? I don't even use sugar, except for baking.

Strange.

I did go to Applebees, just for kicks the other night, with my best friend. Who needs that much food in one serving? And the 'hearty mac and cheese chicken pasta' (which I split with my friend), tasted just like butter.

Not that one can really expect a gourmet meal from Applebees, but really?

I imagine it's back to cereal and bananas.

I've been on my deathbed all last week, finally tapering off on Tuesday when I had my flight, and now it's finally gone, which means I can start running again! I haven't ran in two weeks, and even got some running gear for Christmas from the family. I, need, to run. It keeps me from going insane, and it'll burn of some of this high fructose corn syrup.

Cncinnati is just the beautiful-ist to run around. You run up hills and down steps, across bridges and through quaint tree lined avenues with old brick mansions along the way. I love it.

But just being back for less than a week, the people here are just different.

I'm not sure what it is.

But I guess I do know. Cincinnati is just one big breeding ground.

Nothing too exciting happens here, and people never leave. They just stay and make babies and keep doing the same thing, generation after generation. Oh, and people here really, really love to drink (alcohol). It seems nothing social ever happens without it.

I really do love it here. But I totally know I romanticized it a bit. (Ok, so I romanticized it a lot).

For now, bring on the adventures around the world.

Back in Cincinnati

Cincinnati is so beautiful.

It's so nice to be back.

Amsterdam? You're mine!

Oh, Amsterdam. How strange is it that I actually live here?

And, now I have a 100% full time job here in Amsterdam. One that I love, playing with words and pictures, each and everyday. My ultimate goal, is to learn the art of storytelling on the printed (and digital) page. I couldn't think of a more perfect step at this stage of my life. I can't wait to begin in January.

I fly to the USA on Tuesday morning, and I'm excited to see my family and friends. I miss them all. I'll be home until around the 9th of January.

I never enjoy transatlantic flights, but the fact that I might be flying 1st class (Delta Business Elite buddy pass!), might make things a bit easier.

America – here I come.

Winter in Amsterdam Oost

Oh, Amsterdam!

I now have a second interview lined up tomorrow. I have nothing to lose at this point, and I will be interviewing them just as much as they will be interviewing me. Needless to say, I'm excited.

What if the salary and description are right?
Would I really, truly, be happy here in Amsterdam?

It would be a big change, and making friends and starting anew, on a permanent basis would put me through such a big challenge emotionally, physically and socially. I would permanently leave everything and everyone I've ever known behind.

At the same time...
I have nothing lined up in the USA.

I do hope I get the job.

It would be the perfect job for me to 1: learn Dutch, and 2: foster my creativity.

Oh, Amsterdam. My permanent home?

I do hope so...

Ellen... is a Covergirl

'I’m thrilled to be a CoverGirl,' says DeGeneres, who will appear in print and TV ads starting next month. 'I’ve been practicing in my bathroom mirror for years... Now finally, you’ll all be able to see it.'

Such a funny one she is.

Cincinnati

Whose clouds runs parallel in beauty, to those found in AMS.

I miss what I thought I never would – my hometown.

Friends:

When I first started this blog, I couldn't have been more proud to write the blog description over there on the right. (Update, July 2010: this little blurb is no longer there). The one that says: "After graduation I stuffed my life into three suitcases, left all my friends and family behind, and moved to Amsterdam to work for an architecture magazine." Yep, that one. Reading that now, it makes absolutely no sense. Who does that? (Update, February 2011: people who as determined as hell and damn serious about doing something incredible, interesting and meaningful with their life: aka, me). I'm realizing family and friends (among many other things) are incredibly important to me – and I'm not sure that I'm ready to give them up just yet.

In the end family is one of the one true aspects of our lives that will always be there for us.

So as I contemplate moving back to America, I am further consulting the people in my life I (previously) took for granted. The same people who helped me make this dramatic move across the ocean in the first place.

Amazingly, you will always know your true friends, as they will always be behind you – no matter what continent you decide to move to.

And amazingly enough, no matter how sad they were to see you leave in the first place. No matter how much they were behind your decision (when in reality they couldn't have been more sad to see you go)... they will always be standing there – arms wide open – when you return. As I wonder what to do and where to go, I've been letting a few of them know that I might be moving back home.

More words of wisdom for the people I care about:
'John,

I just got so I got emotional reading your letter. I am so happy that you are coming back! Happy isn't even the right word. Ecstatic might be accurate.

I am sorry Europe wasn't what you expected. You were full of energy when you left here. But I will always envy you for having the courage to go when you felt the urge. And I am glad that you don't accept being unhappy, and you make a change when you are. And I am also glad you get to take all your experiences (and resume boosters) with you, and you haven't lost anything.'

Another:
'Hey there,

I miss you so much. It saddens me to hear that you are having a rough time in AMS.

I am having a hard time understanding your relationship with Cincinnati. I love the place. Good people, good morals, good weather. Never, ever did I think I would actually miss the seasons. Living in LA, the holidays just don't seem like the holidays. What is Thanksgiving without fall, and leaves of all colors blowing along the streets. And what's Winter and Christmas without scarves and gloves? I miss the seasons.

I say go back. I say be with your family. As we grow older we learn that family is and always will be the most important thing we have. It's all we have. And it's all that matters.

I'm so sorry to hear about your grandfather (my grandfather died in September of this year and I didn't return home for the funeral). I know you are your grandmother are extremely tight. I went through a similar situation last year.

I don't want to tell you to come home, but I sure wouldn't mind seeing you more often. I just want you to do whatever makes you happy. Like you said, you have your whole life to travel. And that's what you should do, travel. Live in a place that feels like home, and travel to the cool spots, ie. culture, architecture, history, ect. It's worth it to be around the people you love, and those that love you. I love you.'

'Somewhere Inside'

For some reason this song seems fitting. It's one of my favorites.

It's beautifully composed with lyrics that dance and undulate in eloquent ways.
It could easily be filed under:

A: Getting ready for a night out, music.

Or, B: laying in bed on a monday night at 00:15 with nothing more to do than relax, unwind, and enjoy life with absolutely no worries... as it's almost Christmas.

(Which always has the effect of bringing so much into perspective.)

B: My current state.

Should you choose to listen, give it a bit.

The song slowly reveals more of itself, with each passing minute.

Have a holly, jolly Christmas! (AMS style).

Click a pic to expand:

Words of wisdom from a friend.

While debating to stay in Amsterdam or head back to America-land, a friend wrote me this...

'I can't say that I am disappointed that you are coming back, because that means we will hang out more! I think that you need to do whatever makes you happy. And I can see that this is what is going to do that. I just don't want you to feel as if you need to settle, and I know you won't... Just follow your heart yo! I am so happy to reunite in the states, it will be glorious!'

Blue vs. White

As I continue to live and work in Europe – and subsequently continue to observe and discuss life and all its happenings with the people surrounding me... I must say that I have never felt such a strong distinction between 'blue' and 'white' collar professions than I have here in Europe.

The Future of Food in Japan

As an editor, outside of writing, lots and lots of research is done.

And what fun, as I love a good mystery.

Most of my day is spent either typing and editing – or in Firefox, where I research all things related to architecture and design, both past and present.

Sometimes I find bits that are incredibly interesting- sometimes not.
Today I found one of the most ingenious,

straight forward propaganda pieces I’ve ever stumbled across.

Well would you believe it:

I actually feel like I have friends. More than one (though not close friends, only about two of those so far). And when writing this, it sounds really sad (on my part that is). No friends? Chh–total loser. I totally know how you could think that. I find this lack of social network so hard to start a new, also.

Friday I had a friend over for dinner. It was quite gezellig (which is a word that describes Dutch peoples' quest for always feeling comfortable, in a cozy setting, warm, full of drink/food: horrible grammar with that last line).

Living in the past is never a good thing. 
But, before I moved to Amsterdam:

I was in shape from starting to run again (at least 30 miles/48 km a week; enough to be able to call myself a 'runner', and actually know what I was talking about). I had a great group of friends; the best of my life actually. I've never been one to have a 'group of friends', rather preferring the 'drifter' approach - as it suits me much better (Scorpio/INTJ). The fact that it was summer before I moved here, meant that I could live in my self designated UFL (abbreviated form of: uniform for life; flip-flops, some sort of athletic shorts (preferably soccer/football, a t-shirt, and shades–sometimes a skateboard). I do miss my skateboard. I also miss my grandma.)

It's almost Christmas and I miss my family and friends.

This, coupled with the fact that Santa Clause does not come from Spain...
makes this point in my life seem a bit, uncertain. But also quite exciting.
Who knows how my future will unravel, in this most marvelous of cities.