Sunday, June 16, 2013

Brightness:

The sun is shining. It's Sunday morning. And right now I'm sitting on my balcony, outside, reveling in dune-like landscape that now fills the oversized planters that surround me. The not-often-seen springtime sun, and the accompanying light breeze are to be enjoyed; one warms me, and the other, paradoxically, counter-balances the sun's warmth. Plants and gardens have taken over my thoughts these past few weeks, a product of the influence of flower and plant focused media, which I have been heavily consuming. May Sarton and Dominique Browning have become, via pages filled with their words, my two great garden-escapist companions. What to escape from? Turbulence has shaken my inner core, over these past few months. And that turbulence is due to external forces. That turbulence I am tired from, and tired of, and it is within my power to rid myself, and my life, of it. What to do? Listening to Oprah's 2013 Harvard commencement address, yesterday, I couldn't help but adopt her idea that failure is only life pushing one into a more 'you' suited direction. Even though that direction might not seem to be the right one, during the theatrics one is within, that during which the world is forcing you to take this new enlightening direction. What am I within?  I remain puzzled and exasperated about not not knowing the full extent of the turbulence's source. But I do know something is happening within my orbit of energy; I am becoming quite wise, slowing down and appreciating what it is I have, while I have it, while never forgetting why I have it, and how it is that I'll maintain the appropriate levels of my self confidence in the face of adversary, opposition, or even joy. Is life pushing me into another direction, down another highway, road, or path? Or is it instead, perhaps, nudging me into the garden, or onto a less-worn path that may be slightly delineated, but in no way cleared for daily use. Which path is my own? Entering a transition in my life am I, and understanding how my life, and the energy I expel and consume within this life of mine, has developed over the course of my life. That subject continues to be a source of intrigue for my thoughts. Myself is a source to seek to improve, as always: though literary works, through writing, through thought; meta stimulation versus physical stimuli. To which do I find myself most attracted? A dual-prong; that's me.

On the opposite side of life, or within another circuit of it–as circuits must be connected–myself is smiling brighter than it ever has before.