Friday, March 21, 2014

Parading, Like a Peacock:


Over these past few weeks, and since the end of January, something within me has changed. My thought patterns seem to be reshaping; my perception refining; and my knowledge about the world–and specifically my knowledge concerning its 'art'–is increasing at a furious rate. This is a conscious act that I have sent into motion. My mind is thirsty; it's comparable to a sponge these days–soaking up anything and everything within the cultural fields. Having studied architecture and its history–my focus has always been on the built environment, and not necessarily about what hangs within, or is situated within, those environments. I know about the shells of spaces; now I'm filling in the gaps of my knowledge so that my vocabulary and familiarity with visual culture within these spaces, is just as strong. I'm arming myself, in some way, for my future. My mind doesn't hurt; it's hungry. I'm not sure how much longer this will continue, though I hope it never ends. Since moving to Amsterdam I've filled my life with everything that I've always ever wanted within it; color, renaissance residue, contemporary culture and fashion. As I grow I'm learning more about myself in ways that I never thought I would. Always one to push my personal development one step further, in many many ways I feel that my true self is slowly but surely emerging. Yet I thought that I was already there; which means that my life can only become more exciting as it continues. I wouldn't allow it be anything but. The skills that I posses–they are my own; and I become more confident with them each and everyday. I finally feel as if I know what it is that I'm doing, how it is that I do it, and the ways in which I am able to do so. I'm learning that I don't need or have to define myself, at any point in my life. I am ever transforming. And I must listen to my head and my heart, always. As I grow I realize that my life is just only beginning. I am young. And yet I have already progressed so much. As I continue to go forward, I look back less often that I used to. I'm becoming more comfortable in the moment; more resourceful and self assured–I have presence. And that's important. A few years back I wrote that I wanted to become a waking talking design encyclopedia, complete with huge glasses. And, indeed, both of my wishes have come true. So, what to wish for next?